"Are you scared or nervous?"
I always paused, knowing the correct answer but asking myself for the right answer,
"Why does it matter? Aren't they the same thing?" I'd always say.
"No, Andy, they're not. If you're scared you want to get out of here and if you're nervous it means you're ready to play. It means you want the ball and you want it now"
Today, years away from interscholastic sports, I like to think I have wisdom and experience on my side in my own athletic pursuits and don't need silly pep talks for motivation. Nonetheless, my dad's words continue to resonate with me. I ask myself, on the verge of this year's Western States, "am I scared or am I nervous?" Do I want the ball or not?
In 10 days I'll scurry away from the starting line at Squaw Valley at the beginning of my 22nd 100 mile race since 2000 and my 6th Western States. At the time I will be thinking and feeling many things but most of all I will ask myself, "Am I scared or am I nervous?"
Each of the past five times in the race I have been nervous. I have been cautiously confident in my abilities to finish the race and with each passing year I have proven to myself that I can perform well in the midst of the high pressure environment of the Western States 100. Don't get me wrong, it's not the 9th inning of Game 7 of the World Series or the 18th hole at Augusta but for those of us who toe the line at Squaw this is our Super Bowl and you better be ready to put up or shut up. In other words, you better be nervous, not scared. In addition, even in this little bubble of pressure you better be ready to perform. Preparation is one thing, execution quite another.
Anyone who knows me or has read this blog knows that of all the people in ultrarunning the man I admire and respect the most is Tom Nielsen. Tommy taught me how to run these things back in the mid-late 90's and his lessons are still with me today. In fact, I look forward to Tommy's return to Western States in the not-too-distant future as I think he is a pretty good bet to take down Doug Latimer's 50-59 year old age-group record (18:43) and to have fun in the process. And, if I'm not mistaken, I think I am second behind Tommy in the guys-who-finished-2nd-behind-Jurek standings as I lost to Scott by 24 minutes and Tommy by less than 20 minutes. Nonetheless, the guy's a legend and he taught me everything I know.
And, of all the advice Tommy ever gave me the best was this:
"Look AJ, in the last 30 miles of a 100 miler everybody's hurting. Everybody is way beyond physical fatigue and mental, emotional, and psychological fatigue is setting in, Big Time. If you want to succeed in these things you need to know that, dig deep, and fight it. In the end, you need to race every step like there's someone three minutes ahead of you and someone three minutes behind you."
This year, no matter where you are, that is likely to be true!
That is why, in my opinion with 10 days to go, it's better to be nervous than scared.
Here's wishing everyone lots of nerves and no fear! And, if you want the ball, go get it.
This is the 5th and final installment of the 2009 Western States Synchroblog Project. This is an open topic so we’ve got a wide range of topics this time.